Ever since I decided to start running for exco, I've been asking myself whether I'll be the right man for the job. Sure, as anyone would be, I was confident and excited at first, but after seeing what I had to go through and the demanding tasks involved, a speck of doubt was added day after day. Today, it finally reached breaking point and I had to seriously ask myself, is this the right choice?

Vice President. Sounds menacing doesn't it? It certainly is, with heavy administrative work and with teachers hunting you down for every little thing, it is no easy post. Joan makes it look like a piece of cake, especially with her OCD personality, it suits her well. However, if I were to fill her shoes, man, those are big shoes to fill. At first, I thought I could handle the administrative work, but attendance itself was really a chore. For the first time, I couldn't enjoy band the way I used to, having the time to warm up with my instrument as I pleased. Coming early on Fridays will be especially hellish considering my horrendous sleep pattern.

Today, I had a good hard time thinking about things and I came to 2 conclusions:

I should withdraw. I had my doubts, but after looking at Darric, Shaun, Rochelle and Cheng Yu, I'm sure my loss won't mean much. I'm sure either Darric or Shaun would make a great Pres, and the other 2 are by no means unqualified either. None complained as much as me, nor felt the amount of stress I did doing the job, at least they look like they don't. Also, coping is another thing which I was worried about. JC is a whole different ball game. Gone are the times when the freedom of secondary schools allowed for the random siesta or wasting your time away with friends. Every precious moment counts and I think, as a VP, I wouldn't be using it very well.

I can contribute more to other things. Being in the publicity committee helped me realise this. Brainstorming and thinking of poster designs, to doing a mock up which the teachers liked really made me feel good, and the best thing was I enjoyed it. And today really confirmed that suspicion when I helped out with the banner committee, that my art could really people laugh, joke and was a great way to express myself. Whipping up the birthday cards for Daryl and Darric burned away 1 hour of my time, which could have been used for mugging but it seemed so timeless that so much time went by without me noticing. Sure, I may not be the best at art, nor am I a great designer by any means, but I'll probably enjoy doing it more than attendance-taking anyway.

Being a section leader was also always my dream ever since sec 1, but that dream has eluded me for the past 4+ years and sometimes, I really forget what I want. What was my purpose for running for exco anyway? Was it for status, or was it just for fun? I really forget but after reminiscing about how much that SL post meant to me, the whole exco thing seemed like a trivial matter. Would I be more committed to the whole band, or my wonderful section? It's pretty obvious, isn't it?

Well, hopefully my choice pulls through. Nothing would hurt my friends, family and ultimately, me more than suffering for the next year because of one wrong choice that boded a wrong outcome. I believe this is the better path, and lastly, did this really warrant a full essay?

Daniel

612 words for goodness sake.